Saturday, February 16, 2013

The FP




This is an example of a deliberate attempt to create a WTF movie.  The basic premise of this movie is this: Rival gangs settle their differences by playing Dance Dance Revolution (or, to avoid getting sued by Konami, "Beat Beat Revolution").  Yet, this is not the most WTF part of the movie.  The stakes of this video game dance off are that the winner controls the local liquor store, and when the liquor store is controlled by the villain, he cuts of the booze supply.  When the alcohol no longer flows, ecological disaster results since the absence of booze drives away the bums, who no longer frequent the park, and consequently, the ducks leave.  Yes, you read that correctly, The FP is Dune.  Also, the privation of alcohol causes everybody to turn to meth instead, which I what I told my so-called family and friends at the last intervention with which they ambushed me.  

The other really WTF part of The FP is that the dialog is in Ebonics.  There are no black actors in the film, nor are there any black characters in the film, so this is not some sort of Gary Oldman in True Romance thing, but rather a stylistic choice.  Interesting choice, but inasmuch as I had no kindly Barbara Billingsley to translate for me, I wish there were English subtitles so that I could understand what the hell everybody was talking about.

All in all, The FP is really a martial arts sports movie.  The protagonist quits DDR after the death of his best friend during a match, then is called back after some passage of time to right the evils described above, he meets a new trainer, there is a training montage with a new mentor, finally defeats the rival who beat his friend, then gets a blowjob from the love interest (and I mean actual fellatio--not "wins the love of the girl").  The only thing they left out was the DDR tournament where the protagonist beats (ha ha, puns!) a succession of opponents before finally challenging the rival (instead, he defeats one other person before going straight to the finals).  Predictable, mediocre plot that we have all seen before, but the bizarre DDR+Ebonics angle makes it worth watching for the sole purpose of showing it to your friends so as to exclaim together, "Dude, WTF?!"

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